Be Interested, Not Interesting

When you enter a conversation, is your goal to be heard or to learn? That difference has huge ramifications on your leadership effectiveness - listen it to this months episode to discover why. 

Transcript

Speaker 0:04

Welcome to the Biblical Leadership at Work podcast. I'm your host, Jason Woodard, and I'm glad you've joined me again as we continue to explore biblical principles that should shape how we lead. This month, I wanna talk about a leadership principle that has become increasingly important to me over the years: be interested, not interesting. Recently, I spent some time with an executive from another company, and now he was obviously intelligent, experienced, and accomplished, but throughout our interaction, something stood out to me. He couldn't seem to stop talking. He interrupted people regularly, he rarely asked any questions, and when others were speaking, it often felt like he wasn't listening to understand. He was simply waiting for his turn to speak again. As I reflected on that experience afterward, I realized how much it reinforced an important leadership lesson. Many leaders spend their careers trying to be interesting. We want people to know what we've accomplished. We want them to hear our opinions. We want them to recognize our expertise and experience. But the most effective leaders I've known weren't necessarily the most interesting people in the room. They were often the most interested. They were genuinely curious about others. They asked thoughtful questions. They listened carefully. They learned continuously, and because of that, people trusted them. Our anchor verse today comes from Proverbs twenty, verse five: "The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out." Think about that imagery for a moment. The thoughts, concerns, ideas, fears, and motivations of people are often hidden beneath the surface. Like deep water, they are not immediately visible. A wise leader learns how to draw these things out, not by talking more, but by listening more. Not by dominating conversations, but by asking thoughtful questions. Not by assuming they already understand, but by remaining curious. One of the great ironies of leadership is that the more responsibility we gain, the easier it becomes to stop listening. We begin to think our value comes from having all the answers, but wisdom often begins with asking better questions, and this principle is ultimately rooted in humility. Philippians two, verses three through four say, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Notice what Paul is teaching. Humility doesn't mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of yourself less. interested leaders focus on understanding others. Interesting leaders focus on displaying themselves. One posture builds trust, the other often creates distance. When we enter a conversation primarily concerned with being impressive, we've already shifted the spotlight onto ourselves. But when we enter a conversation with genuine curiosity, we're serving the other person, and that's a deeply biblical way to lead. There is also a practical side to this. Leaders who listen simply make better decisions. How many mistakes have we made because we assumed we understood the situation? And how many conflicts could have been avoided if we had asked a few more questions? How many opportunities have been missed because someone had valuable information that never surfaced? The leader who talks constantly leaves the meeting with roughly the same information he had when he entered. But the leader who listens leaves with new information and new perspectives and new ideas, and often a better understanding of reality. That's one reason curiosity is such a powerful leadership tool. Curiosity helps us see what we would otherwise miss. And something I've observed over the years is that most confident leaders are often the most curious leaders. Now, that may sound backwards. Many people assume confidence means having all the answers, but true confidence doesn't require constant self-promotion. Secure leaders don't feel the need to prove how smart they are in every conversation. They don't need to dominate every discussion. They don't need to remind everyone about their accomplishments. Because they are secure in who they are, they are free to learn from others. In fact, some of the most impressive executives I've met spent far more time asking questions than giving speeches. They understood something that many leaders miss. The room already knows what they know. The opportunity is to learn what everyone else knows. One of the greatest gifts a leader can develop is genuine curiosity about people. Ask your employees what challenges they're facing. Ask your customers what frustrates them. Ask your peers what they're learning. Ask your spouse what they're carrying. Ask your children what they're thinking about, and then ask follow-up questions and listen carefully. People are fascinating when we take the time to understand them, and leaders who become students of people become far more effective at leading people. So as we wrap up, I'd like to leave you with a challenge. For the next 30 days, enter every meeting with one goal: learn something you don't already know. Before offering your opinion, ask a question. Before providing a solution, seek understanding. Before telling your story, invite someone else to share theirs. Practice listening longer than feels natural. Practice asking one more question, and practice being curious. In a world filled with people trying to be heard, become a leader who truly hears others. Be interested, not interesting. You may be surprised by what you learn and by the impact it has on those you lead. Hey, thank you for joining me again this month. I sincerely hope and pray these conversations help you grow as a leader and encourage you to lead in ways that honor Christ. If you found this episode helpful, I'd appreciate it if you'd share the podcast with someone else who might benefit from it. And as always, if you haven't already, please leave a review. It helps others discover the show and allows these conversations to reach more leaders. I look forward to joining you again next month as we continue exploring biblical principles that should influence how we lead every day